Feeling the Fear and Pressing Send Anyway

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Today is the day I choose to write my first blog post. For a while now I have been an avid reader of other people’s blogs, sharing with them the ebbs and flows of their experiences. Although I have had a blog set up and ready to go for some time now, the fear of being seen has been overwhelming and rendered me still and silent. I waited until I felt I had enough to say, and the moment passed without my uttering a single word on my blog.

I tried to use a powerful picture to tell a story, and when it came to pressing send I bottled it.

I think of all the people who don’t have the freedom to speak their truth, and realize how lucky I am. The only thing that has been stopping me has been myself. Those imaginary chains have stopped me from stepping forward.

My fear has been public speaking, and I have battled it enough to be able to stand in front of a class and teach. However my voice seems to disappear and I struggle with feeling waves of nausea. Something happens to me that leaves me feeling stuck. Much as I love writing it also brings up a similar shutdown when I think of other people reading my words.

As a bodyworker the subject of fear is particularly interesting. A strong emotion such as fear is forcefully flung from the mind to the body, immobilizing thought and creating unnecessary tension patterns in the body. For a pregnant woman this fear can block the natural energies of labour, making this more difficult and painful. How often do we make this more difficult than they need be? I’m starting to realize how much of a gift my own fear is to help me in my work with pregnant women and babies- as the opposite of fear is love.