Healing After a Miscarriage

 
Photo Credit Luis Galvez

Photo Credit Luis Galvez

If you’ve had a miscarriage, I’m so sorry for your loss. Even though 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in a miscarriage, it’s still a really painful and personal thing to endure.

Perhaps your body has ‘let nature take its course’ or you might have needed medication or surgery to remove the pregnancy. Whatever your situation, self-care is crucial after a miscarriage.

Be sure to take care of your body, heart and mind through this time.

Self-care after a miscarriage

  • Miscarriage isn’t widely talked about, so you might be feeling a mix of difficult emotions. Grief adds to the feeling of being isolated and all alone. Reach out to your trusted people.

  • If you’re in a couple, you may come together in your loss, but everyone grieves in their own way and you may cope differently. Find someone you can talk to.

  • Take time off if you can. If you can’t have some days off, then at least clear the space to have some rest in the evenings. Keeping busy might feel like a good strategy, but it’s better to process what’s happened and relieve yourself of other obligations so you can focus on what you need.

  • Nourish your body with warming foods. If you don’t have the energy to cook or don’t enjoy cooking, consider asking loved ones to send over a food parcel. Bone broth, soups and stews and tray-bakes are all comforting.

  • Sleep and rest as much as your body needs to. Loss is exhausting so fill up on rest.

  • Book a trip away within the next 3 months to get away from things.

  • Allow yourself to grieve in whatever way you need to. You might need time on your own, you might prefer company. You might cry a lot, or perhaps you want to channel your feelings into journalling or painting. Whatever works for you.

  • Get lost in a good boxset or book either to go deep into the emotions or to be distracted from your own reality. A weepie, or a comedy- it’s up to you.

  • Start a gratitude practice. This is not to ignore the feelings of loss. It’s a proven practice to help centre the mind and body when things are tough. Even on the darkest day, there will always be moments of beauty, kindness and silliness if you can train yourself to notice them.

  • Bodywork such as osteopathy, shiatsu, reflexology and acupuncture are all helpful to deal with the emotions and physical impact of a miscarriage. Touch is such a simple but deep way of connecting back to the body at a time when everything may feel all over the place.

  • Find a counsellor to talk through your experience with when the time is right for you.

RESOURCES

The Miscarriage Association

Tommy’s Research into Miscarriage

Essential Parent

Books on Miscarriage

Miscarriage: What Every Woman Needs by Lesley Regan

The Brink of Being: Talking about Miscarriage by Julia Bueno

The Baby Loss Guide: Practical and compassionate support with a day-by-day resource to navigate the path of grief by Zoë Clarke-Coates

Podcasts

https://www.thefertilitypodcast.com/miscarriage/

https://www.mamamia.com.au/miscarriage-podcasts/

I also run a workshop called ‘Moving Through Loss’ twice a year. It’s a private space to feel your feelings and process loss.